Nervously Unsure

Since I don't know how to be anything but honest. I find I am having a hard time coming up with the inspiration required for me to write. That is one of the main reasons to start a blog. I need to get back into the routine of writing regularly. Pen and paper journaling just doesn't do anything for me anymore. With a paper journal I have no audience except myself and that makes me care less for structure and proper wordage. Ever since a few years ago, I was angry with myself and my writing ability, I haven't been able to write anything with substance since. That night I took everything I had ever written and threw it into the fire. A huge mistake. Something I'll be kicking myself for the rest of my life. All that blood, sweat and tears I poured out on paper is gone, like it's existence snapped out of memory, forever.

It shouldn't have mattered that I was a far cry from Shakespeare. I am not sure Shakespeare was enough of a  Shakespeare for Shakespeare(if that makes any sense) as it is under speculation on how many of his works were actually written by his hand.

Part of me is struggling with the whole self worth issue. When an idea sparks in my head with a possible subject to write about I clam up and the bully in my head ridicules me for even thinking I might have something of value to write about. I know that if I adhere to this long enough I have a chance at retraining the way I think and in turn will eventually silence that bully once and for all.